Overwhelmed. Again.

Dear diary. (Dear Squarespace blog?)

I feel overwhelmed. Again. It feels like a perpetual emotion that I can’t keep from returning to, over and over again. It’s been a constant struggle for over six years now.

No matter how much I try, how many things I change, how much willpower I try and exert over it, I keep ending up here. Feeling mentally tired, socially fatigued, and with a reduced sense of who I am, what I want, and what I find important right now.

When moments like these hit – when it gets too much and I realize I need to do something quickly – I have different ways of handling it.

A couple of days ago (yes that’s how recently I felt like this last time) I handled it by canceling all my plans and staying on the couch and watching TV all day. That helped. Allowing my body to be still, removing all musts for a day, and letting my thoughts focus on something outside of myself (in this case British crime shows) helps me get back to some sort of status quo.

(It also gave me a headache – watching hours and hours of TV tends to do that these days… But we’re ignoring that at the moment.)

Nature & journaling

Today, when the overwhelmness cup started running over, I decided to go to my favorite cafe and journal.

One of the best things about this cafe is that you need to spend about 15-20 minutes in nature to get to it. And we all know what nature does for an overwhelmed mind - at least my mind. It’s like nature can’t help but turn the volume down on racing thoughts and sensitive senses. So, just getting myself to the café has helped.

Once there, I order myself some tea, find a cute little table, and take out my noise-canceling headphones (because even though they’re playing some very nice and soothing jazz, it’s still way too much for my senses to handle café noises + music + my own thoughts).

I write some thoughts down, doodle a little bit in my notebook, sip my tea, and look out the window. I do this for about an hour, and as we all know by now. It works.

I can feel my mind slowing down. I can feel everybody else’s voices leaving me. And I can feel all the conversations I’ve had over the last few days melt away. Leaving only me. My mind. My feelings. My thoughts.

It gets easier to breathe, easier to take in the world around me, and easier to smile.

“How to Do Nothing” by Jenny Odell

And then, when I’ve run out of things to put down on paper, I do something even better.

I take out Jenny Odell’s book ”How to Do Nothing - Resisting the Attention Economy” - which I very last minute shoved in my bag before leaving for the cafe. And seriously…

This book.

Is amazing.

It is the exact reminder and antidote that an overwhelmed and overextended mind needs when it’s, once again, gotten pulled into the go-go-goiness that is our culture today.

Not only does Jenny Odell remind us of the recurring need for space and quiet and rest that we need to simply function as human beings. It also takes a look at all the systems and narratives that are in place in today’s society which continually makes us reject and ignore our need for it, and how that in turn not only impacts us as individuals. But how it impacts our communities, our society and our world.

I think I only read 5 pages during the last 30 minutes I spent at the cafe. But that’s because every other paragraph in the book contains multiple pieces of wisdom that stop me in my tracks and make me want to read it over and over again to make sure I really take it in.

To summarize

So. In short. If you’re also feeling overwhelmed today, how about you surround yourself with some trees, spend some time with pen and paper, and order “How to do Nothing” from your local bookshop.

Or, binge-watch a season or two of a British crime show. “Hinterland” is particularly dark and gloomy.